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Amar Patel's avatar

An open-hearted and hopeful conversation. Thanks for organising, E-L. I have just finished Amy’s book and much of it resonated – from how she was “always ready to be moved by something” as a kid, to the fear that you’ve been stuck in time as a single person while others have grown up through their relationships.

And her beautiful encapsulation of awe at Joni’s songwriting. For instance, that plaintive moment in ‘River’ that’s like how she imagines truth would sound. “You are found out by it”. Yes.

Poppy’s anecdote about the multiverse and imagining a more constrained and encumbered version of herself was a wonderful way to appreciate your liberty and agency in the here and now, particularly as someone of South Asian origin, as late as it may have come and with caveats. Plenty of laughs too, like her vowing to really “go for it” in bed. Respect.

There are lots of us out there, not just women, who are becoming more determined not to let this prolonged period of solitude become defined by the absence of something. Instead, why not make it launchpad for new encounters and experiences instead of a “space of limbo” as you described it… It will take courage and effort, as many of them will have to be with new faces rather than overwhelmed friends and family. But the rewards are great.

That said, last weekend I went to Bruges with my best mate, who have known since I was five. Someone with whom I have almost 40 years of shared history. Not ever-present or as eager to evolve as I am (aka a restless soul) but comforting in his loyalty, care and self-assurance. In all this time, we have never taken a trip as a duo. There was a moment in our beds around 2am where we held hands – ahem, I mean we had a prolonged handshake yeah – and said we love each other.

It's not like we're all blokey and never show affection to each other, or show vulnerability, but it felt momentous. After my mother, he is probably the greatest love of my life.

I won’t put romantic love on a pedestal but I will continue to seek it and turn up with as much of myself as I can muster.

PS Spot on about that single-occupant council tax discount. Justice!

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